| Lamenting God |
We are three kids for our parents. My sister Jaya,
my brother Tom and I. My sister is one year younger to me. She was
born at Pulincunno, at our mother’s house. When my sister was
born, my father took me from my mother’s house to my father’s
house at Kottayam, for my mother’s convenience. But within two
days I was
brought back to my mother’s house on her request. It was very
painful for my mother to be separated from me. I don’t know
what thoughts went through my one year old mind. |
| Our State, Kerala is one of the smallest states in
India. But more than 20% of our populations are working abroad. From
my childhood when I visited the airport I have seen crying mothers
boarding planes, leaving their kids with their parents. Even though
they are going abroad for their profession, it was very painful for
them to be separated from their kids. In this world mother’s
love is considered the most pure form of love. |
| After showing these instances Jesus took me to Isaiah
49:14. |
But the people of Jerusalem said,
“The Lord
has abandoned us!
He has forgotten us.”
So the Lord answers,
“Can a woman forget her own baby
and not love the child she bore?
Even if a mother should forget her child,
I will never forget you.”
Jerusalem, I can never forget you!
I have written your name on the
palms of my hands. |
| Through these words Jesus explained to me that even
though a mother’s love is valuable, God’s love can never
be compared to anything. |
| Jesus showed me that God is Love. Before knowing Jesus
I saw a Punishing God when Adam and Eve were sent out of the Garden
of Eden. When I started to walk with Jesus, there I saw God lamenting. |
| When a small kid is separated from his mother there
we find a crying mother because the one year old kid does not know
what is happening to him. In same way, when Adam and Eve were separated
from God by the devil, I saw God crying and lamenting. |
| I had done my high school at M.T. Seminary High School,
Kottayam. In our class we had a friend who was very friendly and sometimes
got into trouble. Once in three month his mother visited our school
and asked forgiveness for the trouble that her son caused, to our
teachers and to us. She never complained or cursed him. We all loved
him. |
| After showing my high school days Jesus took me to
Luke 23:34. Jesus said, “Forgive them, Father! They don’t
know what they are doing.” |
| Here Jesus took me to John 6:38, “Because I have
come down from heaven to do not my will but the will of him who sent
me.” |
| Jesus showed me that, God is asking forgiveness for
the wrongs of the people. Through this word Jesus explained to me
that, if I do any harm to any other person, then God will ask forgiveness
for me from him. Because God knows that without the presence of the
Holy Spirit in my spirit, I can never love God, love myself and love
others. In the same way when anyone does any thing against me, then
God is asking forgiveness for him from me. |
| Then Jesus took me to John 19:30, Jesus said, “It
is finished!” Jesus here revealed to the world God’s forgiving
love and the love of asking forgiveness. Thus the Lord destroyed the
lies of the Devil about God. |
This knowledge
made me cry from my heart. |
| When Jesus revealed this knowledge, I asked forgiveness
to God from my heart for my wrongs and other people’s wrongs. |
| At this stage Jesus brought a picture of a crying father
into my mind. Years ago one of my uncles told me that, even though
his only son was staying with him in his house, their minds were miles
and miles apart. |
| I asked him the reason. |
| He replied that, his son had no problem with anyone
else, but only with him. He said that somebody has planted some story
in his son’s mind and that was the root cause of all the misunderstanding.
Uncle added that several times he tried to sort out the misunderstanding
in his son’s mind but, that also ended in increasing the problems.
Here I saw a crying father looking helplessly at his son’s misunderstanding. |
| After showing this picture Jesus took me to Genesis
3:8. That evening they heard the Lord God walking in the garden, and
they hid from him among the trees. But the Lord called out to the
man, “Where are you?” |
| He answered, “I heard you, in the garden; I was
afraid and hid from you, because I was naked.” |
| “Who told you that you are naked?” God
asked. “Did you eat the fruit that I told you not to eat?” |
| The man answered, “The woman you put here with
me gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” |
| The Lord God asked the woman, “Why did you do
this?” |
| She replied, “The snake tricked me into eating
it.” |
| Here Jesus showed that God was crying looking at the
misunderstanding about Him in Adam and Eve, planted there by the Devil. |
| The reason for the problems in this world is the misunderstanding
between people. Jesus showed me that the core reason for the misunderstanding
among the people is the misunderstanding about God, planted there
by the Devil. |
| Because of this misunderstanding man cannot live with
God, the Devil very cunningly trapped man to live with money, power,
social acceptance and other material things. Here I saw God crying
at seeing my misunderstanding about God in my spirit. The core reason
for my sin and problems is my misunderstanding about God in my spirit. |
| Then Jesus took me to Luke 22:41. Then he went off
from them about the distance of a stone’s throw and knelt down
and prayed. |
| “Father,” he said, “if you will,
take this cup of suffering away from me. Not my will, however, but
your will be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and
strengthened him. |
| When Jesus showed me God
crying at the door step of my spirit, then Jesus Himself took away
all the obstacles that blocked me from searching for God. |
| Here Jesus showed that God was ready to die on a cross.
2000 years ago in Palestine, dying on a cross was considered as a
curse. Here Jesus shows that God is determined to destroy the lies
of the devil by dying on a cross. That is why Genesis 3:15 says likes
this, “Her offspring will crush your head.” |
| God is not bothered about dying on a cross; he is only
bothered about saving the human race from the hands of the Devil,
by dying on a cross, which is a symbol of a curse. God shows that
he values human beings more than anything else. Thus God destroyed
the lies of the Devil about God. |
| Before knowing Jesus I thought I was crying for God,
but when I started to walk with Jesus, the Lord showed me that I was
really crying for money, power and other material things or the Devil.
On the other hand God was crying for me. |
| When Jesus showed me God crying at the door step of
my spirit, then Jesus Himself took away all the obstacles that blocked
me from searching for God. |
